My Opinion Monday - too much info peeps

Hey there all my Facebook mom's and dad's - this is a shout-out to you all.

Can I just say there is nothing more gag-inducing than you talking about your "lil man" or "princess" pooping on the potty for the first, second, third....etc time? We all know that everyone poops, hell, there's a book for kids with that same title, but what we don't need to know is when they do it. I'm seriously going to contact Mark Zuckerburg and ask him to create and "Mombook" or "Dadbook" where all you can post that crap (bah, no pun intended) for all the other mom's and dad's that give a shit (ha, again) about your kids bowel movements.

I don't post when I get my period, change my tampon (see - that's gross isn't it? makes you cringe a little bit huh??) or take a crap because frankly, it's gross and WAY TO MUCH information for Facebook. It was enough to have to see pictures of you (or your wife, if you're a guy reading this) with your/her legs all up in the air while giving birth to said child, reading the inevitable countdown to when baby is coming and then reading the countup on how old said baby is now (did you not know that was going to happen by the way??), but now I have to read about their friggin pooping.

Just stop. Please. I don't want to read that and chances are the other friends who aren't parents don't either.

Think back before the time of Facebook - I know it's hard but it really was just like 6 years ago. How do you think parents communicated with other friends or their parents that their kid finally pooped in the potty?? I'm guessing the telephone.  I have realized that your kid not pooping in their pants anymore is big news, so if you could all just do us who don't want to hear about pooping a favor and pick up the phone and share the news, that would be much appreciated. It's just not something I need or want to know.

I know I'm not a mom so I probably don't understand, but I'll leave you with words of  the great Frank Giles: "TMI people, TMI."

My Opinion Monday - baby showers must provide booze.

Several of our friends are insisting on having babies. Yeah, they got married this summer and decided to kick the 'ol pill and make some babies. I am happy for them and was part of the planning committee for a double shower this past weekend. One is due at the beginning of February, the other at the end (and one of the other planners is due in June now - babies galore I tell you!)

Instead of having the traditional shower where it's only ladies (because that's how it SHOULD be, this couple showers crap annoys me...no man wants to sit through all of us ladies oohing and ahhhing over diapers and pacifiers - truth be told I don't want to either) we decided to throw in our annual Ugly Sweater Party, rent out the VFW and get a keg! The mommies-to-be were totally supportive of the idea (thanks so  much girls!) and it was a huge success - at least in the keg department...we drained it well before we thought we would. I'm going to blame it on the couple games we played. 

The first game was two people, full beer in one hand, while using the other hand to diaper, dress and place a stuffed doll comfortably onto a chair. When the baby was seated comfortably, you had to chug your beer. Tyler and I did pretty well....until the chugging. Kid is not a chugger or shot taker - so I finished mine and half of his. We lost. Darn.

Second game was for the guys. Picture flippy cup table with baby bottles and grown men chugging beer from said bottles - through nipples might I add. (see pictures below) One of the fathers-to-be was the last in line and literally squeezed the bottle as if it were a beer can. Nice work, you're ready for this. 

The third game was a good old fashioned game of flippy cup. Several rounds and we were all toast. Good job us. 

And like  I said, we were all in our ugly sweater garb. Doesn't get much better than that folks. 

So the next time you're suckered into asked to throw a baby shower - try it at a local VFW in ugly sweaters while the guys chug from baby bottles. I don't have any pictures of the festivities (besides everyone in front of the picture backdrop - we get fancy) because I was having too much fun. And my camera sucks, so you wouldn't want to see them anyways. 

Yes, that converted fridge to gun cabinet does have a sign that reads "Ready  to Fire"

UPDATE: Someone had my camera, there are pictures!

Nebraska fan in a Hawkeye hat...not happy about it. 

Betty from the VFW liked Tyler's stache I think

Iowa State fan in a Hawkeye hat

Still not happy about it

Just sipping from the bottle, nbd.

Get it!

Really bad chugger here.

Almost like Baywatch. almost.

Merry Christmas!

THE Jefferson Trifecta wishes you a Merry Christmas!

My Opinion Monday - who signed me up for this?

I must admit - I'm not a huge fan of kids under the age of 18. Perhaps it's from being the youngest sibling and the youngest grandchild for a really long time. I didn't babysit when I was younger (well one time I did and never did after because I got paid $10 for like 8 hours and didn't get to leave until 2am) and I just haven't been around babies and kids much. I can count on both hands the kids that I do like though - nieces and nephews, close friends kids, a couple younger cousins to name a few.  I'm coming around, but I'm no where near ready to have kids of my own...I just started holding babies 2 years ago - I use to have dreams about dropping them.....

Which is why I can NOT for the life of me figure out how I keep getting these mailing lists:

Coupons for diapers and options for my child's college fund??!? What list did I get on and how in the world did I get there? I am so very confused by these and I get them quite frequently. It's not like I accidentally got them once, oh no, I get them several times a  month! Anyone use Huggies and need coupons?  Or maybe you're not getting the announcement about a kids college savings plan, need that? Let me know and I'll dig these out of the recycle bin - or just save the next set I get :)